When you understand," Brandy says, "that what you’re telling is just a story. It isn’t happening anymore. When you realize the story you’re telling is just words, when you can just crumble it up and throw your past in the trashcan," Brandy says, "then we’ll figure out who you’re going to be.
from the novel Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk
Whatever happened in the past, has led us to who we are today. And because we know this, we hold it dear to us, even influence us in our day to day lives.
Happy experiences, horrible accidents, things that happened that are beyond our control–we blame them for what we are having right now. It can be that someone dear to us died…and we can never replace them. Someone dear brought hurt to us…we trusted them but still they chose to hurt us. It can be that we are born underprivileged…and we can’t afford to pursue what we really want. Or born overwhelmed with attention…that we can’t be who we just want ourselves to be.
It’s always easy to say that we can’t do something because we’re not fit for it, we aren’t worthy of it, we aren’t strong enough to go through it. I can’t be an Engineer because I’m too lazy to do the work. I have to do things my own, because I can’t bring other people into my shit. I can’t get too attached to someone, because I’m still moving on to someone I felt I lost.
Words, words, words, words. Words we tell ourselves to reassure us temporarily, things we always remind ourselves just to get through the day, ideas we bias ourselves towards because we are either too blinded or afraid…
That we can face them. That we can move past them. That we can control them, because they’re just. Words.
Your past is just a story, once you realize this, it has no power over you. – Chuck Palahniuk